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| Every CUW resident and commuter student knows about the parking
crisis here on campus. What is less well-known, perhaps, is the
brief and brutal history of the Space Wars, or the Parking Socialism
Act, or even the strange experience of Wendy Schlectauer. But
The Shadow knows, and in the Special Inaugural Edition of The
Shadow Reborn, he'll tell you. |
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Concordia has been selected by Action Flick
Weekly magazine as “Most Likely Place to Have a B-list
Sci-fi/Horror/Action Movie Filmed At.” The magazine cited
CUW’s “eerie color palette”, “floorplan
that looks like the architect was crazy when he drew it”,
and “relative proximity to a large body of water in case
something catches on fire for real”.
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Disclamer:
The Shadow Reborn is a completely fictional publication intended
to enthrall and amuse, but not to offend. We, the creators of
TSR, refuse to accept any responsibility whatsoever for any
physical, emotional, spiritual, or water damage cause by reading
this paper. All names in this publication are fiction, and any
resemblance to real persons is entirely accidental. By reading
this disclaimer, you agree to tell your friends about TSR, and
to refrain from trying to figure out who we, the creators of
TSR, are. Also, you consent to give us a shout-out if you ever
get on national TV. Or even regional TV, for that matter.
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Concordia's Real Newspaper
is Back!
As we prepare our special inaugural double issue, our highly
trained staff is currently scouring the campus to get to the
bottom of the current events that are happening all around you.
In the past, The Shadow was known for giving you the cold hard
facts, and we’re going to continue that tradition, from
sightings of the so-called Bluff Monster, to little informational
tidbits on how the paper of Concordia's second news source,
a fake underground newpaper, is actually twice as absorbent
as The Shadow’s paper.
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News
The Shadow Reborn is almost ready for publication! Look for
issues to magically appear around campus Thursday, or Friday, or Saturday,
or Sunday, or Monday…On second thought, you’ll see the Special
Inaugural Edition when you see it. Keep your eyes open…
Yesterday's Headline
Concordia’s annual Bluff Roll will not be occurring this year
due to the high incidence of injury at last year’s event. The
event, a fundraiser for some random charity, was very popular with students,
but few last year rolled all the way to the foot of the bluff without
sustaining some sort of injury. In its place will be the highly safe-
and boring-sounding Coburg Stair Climb.
Staff
We are a multi-national group of hard-working people dedicated to the
composition and dissemination of the best news source on Concordia's
campus.
The motto of our editor, we try to cover up our scars best we can but
sometimes are unable to.
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The Original
Shadow
Old News
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After Dec. 1, the Undercroft will be locked
most of the day, as well as all night, according to Campus Safety.
Students will have access to the area between noon and 1 pm.
The ones we talked to didn’t seem too happy about it.
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The Shadow, the mascot and personification
of CUW's real newspaper, has had a lonely existence since the
demise of his paper. However, recently another mysterious character
has made his debut on campus, the enigmatic Shady Freddy. Believed
to be related to Freddy the Falcon, little is known about the
individual, but he has been seen hanging out with The Shadow,
and a video on Shady Freddy's Facebook profile has an advertisement
for the Shadow. Hopefully Shady Freddy can provide a modicum
of friendship for the historically secretive Shadow.
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